Hilarious piece by Nick and Hallie Bateman for The New Yorker:

If your best friend is an average guy who just goes to work, has a pet fish, and spends a lot of time on the Internet, you’re fine. But if he’s insanely attractive, has a high-­profile job that he never seems to go to, and enjoys an excessively eventful personal life, you might be playing his best friend in a movie. When was the last time you went home? Do you even have a home, or do you just sleep in the bar booth where you and Matthew McConaughey always chat?

So great.